Summer of Lies
by GleeFan412
Summary: Santana's struggle of coming out and accepting herself from the POV of Brittany.
1. Chapter 1

Summer of Lies

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything affiliated with Glee.

A/N: Ok, so maybe starting a new fic is the last thing I should do, but this idea has been floating around in my head and I wanted to get it down. I've always wanted to do something from Brittany's POV. If there is enough interest in it, I'll continue, so let me know what you guys think J Thanks! Oh! I promise it won't be all angst, I know some of you don't like that…it gets better!

Chapter 1

"When did you get so smart?" she asks me with a smile that makes my knees go weak.

"You're too kind," I say, my cheeks turning red with embarrassment. "You better put that voodoo doll of Rachel away, we're not leaving school yet."

"What? Why?"

"Last Glee club meeting of the year."

"Do we really have to go?" she whines.

"Yes, and you have to be nice to Rachel and Finn, they are not the reason why we lost Nationals. We weren't anywhere near as prepared as we should have been, _that_ is the reason why we lost."

"Fine," she says, with a sigh and her signature eye roll, as she stuffs the Rachel doll deep into her bag.

I go to link my pinky with hers, noticing how she glances around to see if anyone is looking before taking my pinky. I sigh a little, realizing this is how it's going to be for a long time. I feel her drop my hand as soon as we enter the choir room which confuses me a little bit, no make that a lot. Apparently she's convinced someone will find out about her if they see us touching at all, which doesn't make sense to me, because no one ever looked twice at us before.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly before joining Quinn and I wonder how many more times I'll hear her say those two words.

_When did you get so smart, _echoes through my mind as I take a seat in the choir room, watching as all my friends laugh and talk, excited about their summer plans. It's funny, I've never thought of myself as smart, but I know I'm not dumb either. I'm actually a lot smarter than I let on, but everyone has their 'thing.' Quinn was the bitchy head cheerleader, Tina had her stutter, Rachel is always a star, Santana is the token mean girl, and mine was to just say random things as they come to me, and be the aloof funny girl.

"Hey Brittany," Artie says as he rolls up to me.

"Hi." I can already feel the daggers shooting from Santana's eyes as I turn to talk to Artie. "What are you doing this summer?"

"Move it Wheels," Santana cuts him off before he can even answer my question. She glares at the back of his head until he's deep into a conversation with Tina.

I take a deep breath, choosing my words wisely before speaking. "We're going to need to talk," I finally say.

"About?" She looks at me and I can tell she knows exactly what it's about, her eyes are like an open book.

"I'm not going to play this game with you," I say, keeping my voice low so no one would be able to over hear us.

"What game?" she asks, slightly annoyed that I'm bringing this up here and now.

"The you can't have me but no one else can either game. There is nothing going on with Artie and me anymore, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"I don't trust him and besides he's not good for you."

"Neither is not being truthful to yourself," I say before I can stop the words from spilling from my mouth.

She opens her mouth to say something, then promptly closes it, knowing I'm right and she has nothing to retort back.

"So can we talk more later, back at my house, please?"

"Congrats on 12th place guys!" Mr. Shue says excitedly as he walks into the room, ending my conversation with Santana. "I'm proud of you guys, and next year we'll aim for making it into the top ten. Now, to continue our tradition of naming a MVP, drum roll please Finn. This year's MVP is, Santana."

I watch as her face goes from confused to excited within seconds. She smiles widely as she walks to the front of the room to accept her award. I can tell she's on the verge of tears, but would never show them in front of the club.

"I'd like to say I'm surprised," she says, trying to play it all cool, "but I totally deserve this."

Truth is, she really does deserve it. She got Kurt back to this school, she worked hard in New York and pretty much wrote Light Up the World all on her own. I smile at her, I love seeing her so happy.

She catches my eye and gives me a slight nod and smile before turning her attention back to the rest of the group. "Here's to winning Nationals next year!" she says, raising her trophy.

"You guys have a great summer, see you in the Fall," Mr. Shuester calls out to us as we begin to leave the choir room.

"Can you guys believe we're going to be seniors next year?" Rachel asks all of us as we walk down the hallway.

"It's going to be so weird," Finn says, as he puts his arm around her shoulders.

"You guys are a bunch of babies," Santana informs them. "I for one will be happy to get out of this place."

I keep quiet, knowing exactly why she can't wait to get out of here. She's looking forward to the day she can be true to herself, and that most likely will never happen in this town. I say my goodbyes to my friends, knowing we'd be seeing each other soon and head to Santana's car. "Your place or mine?"

She gets behind the wheel of her BMW and pauses before turning the key in the ignition. "Did you know I was going to win that award?"

"Well, I voted for you, but I didn't know for sure. Are you happy?"

"Over a stupid plastic trophy, whatever."

I see the smile in her eyes and I know it means more to her than she will ever let on.

"So how should we celebrate our first night of the summer? Sweet Valley High and getting our cuddle on?" she says, tying to change the subject.

"Maybe, but we really do need to talk." I hear her sigh, knowing full well that's the last thing she wants to do. "It's really important to me."

"Fine," she finally concedes as she pulls into the driveway of her parent's large house. I always laugh a little to myself when we're here, because no matter how hard Santana tries to convince people she's from the wrong side of town, nothing could be further from the truth.

I follow behind her up the large circular staircase that led to pretty much her own side of the house, knowing each step by heart. "So," I begin, making myself comfortable on her bed, knowing this was going to be a long and drawn out conversation. "I'm allowed to have friends that are boys, even boys that are named Artie."

"I don't care who you're friends with," she says from her spot in her large papasan chair. "As long as you're not friends with him," she adds quietly.

"Technically, we're not dating, you can't tell me who I can and can't see. Did I stop you from being with Karofsky?"

"That's different," she insists. "I did that for the club."

"Just the club?"

"Okay fine, and I did it to win prom queen, and we all know how well that worked out."

"Santana you did it because you were hiding and not being true to yourself. That's what this whole problem is about."

"What whole problem?"

"Your attitude about us not being together and me talking to random people."

"Need I remind you that I am not the reason we aren't together, _you _are."

"Excuse me?" I ask, not because I didn't hear her, but more because I can't believe she actually just said that.

"You heard me," she retorts back quickly. "I told you I loved so many times, and you rejected me for stupid Wheels."

I stand up and start pacing her room because I can't believe she just said that, and I can't keep still any longer. "I thought we were over all of this! Do I need to remind you, that I wanted to go to prom with you, that I was going to do ALL the talking and all you had to do was say 'yes.' Did you ever once think about how much it hurt me when you didn't show with only a text message? You could have at least called or came by and talked to me about it, I wouldn't have put it on Fondue for Two."

She sat there, avoiding eye contact with me, she knows I'm right.

"Besides," I continue, "Did I not just tell you I loved you more than anything I've ever loved in the entire world in school earlier?" I can see the tears beginning to form in her beautiful dark brown eyes, and it makes my stomach turn to know I'm the reason why she's getting upset. Words start coming out of my mouth before I even know what I'm saying. "We can't be together right now, Santana."

"Why can't we?" she chokes out through sobs, tears now freely falling from her face.

"We can't be together right now," I repeat slowly. I kneel down in front of her, making her look me in the eyes. "Look, I know I'm bi curious, you know you're Lebanese, I know you're Lebanese, but no one else knows it. I'm doing this for you…for us."

"How is breaking my heart good for us?" she asks, with a mixture of sadness and anger that breaks my heart.

I carefully wipe away her tears with the pads of my thumbs before answering. "I know how hard this is for you, but I'm really afraid if we start to date secretly you won't have a reason to come out, and you'll be hiding who you are forever. It's not healthy. Remember what happened to Kurt when he tried to keep it in? He started to dress all weird and sang some weird song about America? What was that? Anyway, I don't want that to happen to you. Besides, you're so awesome and amazing Santana, I don't want to be hiding my relationship with you. I want the whole world to know how amazing my girlfriend is. I'll wait for you, but you need to do it on your own time, I'm not going to force you to do anything you're not ready to do." I lean back on my heels, giving her some space. I can see the mixed amount of emotions flicker through her eyes as she takes in everything I just said about her. Suddenly I watch as her eyes go from sad and conflicted to dark and angry.

"Get out," she says so quietly I wouldn't have heard her, had I not been so close to her.

"San," I start to say, rising slightly to take her into a hug.

"Get out," she repeats, louder this time, and pushes me away. She gets up, walking around me, and opens the door to her room. "I don't want you in my room. I want you to leave and never come back."

I take a deep breath, I know she doesn't mean what she's saying. "You don't mean that."

"I do. You don't think we should be together, that's fine, but don't act like you're doing this for me, to help me come to terms with who I am."

"You're angry and confused now, I get it, so I'm going to do what you ask me, and leave. Just know, I really do love you, Santana."

"Don't," she says with a bitterness I've never heard in her voice before.

I try to look her in the eyes one last time before leaving, catching a glimpse of her emotionless brown eyes before she looks away from me. I quickly make my way down the newly polished staircase, trying not to fall on my way down, while also trying to block out the sounds of Santana crying and yelling things in Spanish I never can understand. I close the large stained glass door behind me with a heavy thud, and sit down on the top step of the large front deck. It's not until I go to push my hair behind my ears that I realize my face is wet from my tears, though I have no idea who I am crying more for. Am I crying for Santana, who has the impossible task of coming out, or for myself for possibly just losing the only person I truly ever loved in my entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

Summer of Lies

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything affiliated with Glee.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews/alerts! Keep it coming please!

Chapter 2

After what seems like hours, I make myself leave her front deck, knowing she's not going to come down after me if she hasn't already. The last thing I want to do is be there when her mom gets home, we've never really gotten along and with the mood I'm in, I will most definitely say something I know I'll regret. I hear the sound of tires as I stand, "Shit," I mutter quietly as I eye the black Lexus pulling into the driveway.

"Oh Brittany, leaving so soon are we?" she asks as she gets out of the car.

I try to force a smile but something about her has always rubbed me the wrong way. She has always made it quite obvious that she hates all the time Santana and I spend together. I think it's because deep down she knows we are more than just friends but she'd never say it aloud. I watch as she studies me, taking in my puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Is something the matter?" she asks with a sincerity so fake she might as well have said nothing at all. She's already looking towards the door of her house, and I just know she's hoping I say nothing is wrong because she really doesn't want to stand around and talk to me.

"Just fine," I say, trying to make it sound convincing. "I really have to get going. Bye Mrs. Lopez." I look back at her for a response, but she has already made her way into the house. I make the normally five minute walk from Santana's house to mine into about half an hour, wandering aimlessly, not really sure what to do with myself.

"Brittany, is that you?"

I turn towards the road to see a black Ford Fusion slowing down near the side of the road and recognize it as Rachel's car.

"Everything ok?" she calls out through the passenger window. "Are you lost or something?"

The way she says that jolts a memory in my mind and I can't help but to be taken back almost ten years.

_Summer of 2001_

"Hey! You! Are you lost or something?"

I turn to see a group of boys coming over towards me, and immediately sense no good can come from this. "Um, I don't think so, thanks though."

"What's your name?" one of the taller boys asks.

"Brittany," I answer slowly, trying to figure out a way to get away from the group and begin to chew the end of one of my pigtails nervously.

"Leave her alone Karofsky."

I twirl around to see a small girl with darker skin and frizzy hair in a ponytail come over with her hands on her hips and a fierce look on her face. I can't help but stare at her, she's like no one I have eve seen before. There's a strange tingle that begins in the bottom of my stomach but I figure it has to do with the fact that I'm about to get beat up by a group of boys.

"Go pick on someone your own size!" she says, glaring up at him. "Take your stupid posse of boys and get lost."

I watch as the taller boy looks from her to me and then back to her again. "Fine Lopez, I'll walk away this time. Tell your little friend here to be more careful next time about where she's walking."

"We're not friends, I've never seen her-" I start to say but she cuts me off.

"I think you're the one who should be more careful next time. I can take you and your group of boys. You should watch your back," she warns him and glares at the boys until they're on the other end of the park.

"Thanks, you didn't have to do that."

She shrugs, "It was nothing really. I'm Santana by the way," she says, sticking out her hand towards mine.

"I'm Brittany." I take her hand and immediately feel a connection I've never felt with anyone before.

"Did you just move here?" she asks, dropping all my fingers but my pinky, keeping it linked with hers.

"Yeah, my parents just got new jobs here, we just moved into the Lima Heights community."

"Really? Cool. I live there too! Only, if anyone asks, I live in Lima Heights Adjacent."

I look at her, confused as to what she's talking about.

She looks away from me, her cheeks blushing brightly. "It makes me look tough, ok? It's working so far, I just saved your butt from those stupid boys."

"Yeah thanks for that. I hate being the new kid."

"Stick with me, I'll take care of you, I'll always have your back Brittany."

_Present Day_

"Brittany, are you ok? It's been a few minutes and you have just been staring at me."

I shake my head of the memory and walk to the passenger side of the car, leaning slightly to peer in the window. "I'm fine, thanks though. Just taking the long way home. What are you doing out this way?"

"Just visiting Finn at work. Do you need a ride, wait, have you been crying? Get in the car now!"

I sigh, not wanting to really get into it, but I get in the car because I know Rachel won't let it go. "I wasn't crying, I just have allergies," I say weakly.

She studies me, taking in my puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, knowing very well that I'm lying, and badly at that. "I know we're not close like you and Santana are, but I'd like to think we're friends and you can talk to me if you want. So, what's wrong?"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I want to talk to her, hell anyone, so bad, but I can't. Talking about what's going on would mean outing Santana and I could never do that to her. "I appreciate it Rachel, but I'm ok, really ok," I say, more to convince myself than her.

She eyes me, knowing there is more to what I'm saying, but thankfully gives up. "If you insist. Just know that if you ever change your mind, you have my number. Want me to take you home?"

"Sure, thanks. I'd really appreciate that."

XXXX

Santana takes one of the down pillows off her bed and throws it at her wall, not satisfied with the soft thud it makes upon hitting the floor. She looks around her room, needing something that's going to give her a better sense of relief. She eyes the framed picture of her and Brittany, and picks it up with trembling fingers. Sighing heavily she places it back down on the night table, not able to throw it, she can't bring herself to ever hurt Brittany, even if it is just a picture. She wipes the tears from her eyes and peeks out her bedroom window, looking to see if Brittany was still outside. "Just fucking great," she mutters when she sees Brittany is gone, but her mother is just getting home. "Can this day get any worse?" Normally she and Brittany would be holed up together in her room, and her mother would always leave them alone, but now she was alone and afraid her mother would make her do something she didn't want to do. She flops down on her bed, going over what had just happened in her head. She loves Brittany, of course she does, but how was she ready to come out to people and hope that they accept her, when she hadn't even fully accepted it herself?

"Santana, Honey, are you home?" Mrs. Lopez calls up the stairway.

Santana pulls herself up off her bed and walks to the landing of the spiral stairway. "Yeah."

"Oh good, come downstairs, see what I just got."

She reluctantly walks down the stairs, not caring at all what her mother could possibly have to show her.

"Your father and I are going to a benefit dinner tomorrow night, look at this dress I just got."

"Seriously? You made me come down for this?" Santana can't believe her mother made her come all the way downstairs for this, when all she really wants to do is wallow in self pity and listen to depressing music. She can't even fake a smile and tell her the designer dress would look nice on her because she simply didn't care. "Is that it? I'd like to go to bed."

Mrs. Lopez looks at the clock hanging on the wall. "It's only 4:00 in the after noon. How can you possibly want to go to bed? I saw that Brittany girl leaving here earlier today, did something happen?"

_Tons, _she thinks to herself. _I very well may never see her again. _"No, nothing happened. I'm just tired," she says, not being able to come up with anything else quickly, which was very rare for her.

"Well, ok. Why don't you come to the benefit with us? There's this nice boy I think you should meet. I'll have your father set it all up."

"No Mom," she searches her brain frantically, trying to come up with anything that can be used as an excuse not to go. She's too emotionally drained to even think of anything.

Mrs. Lopez eyes her daughter suspiciously. "I've just decided that you don't have a choice. Go upstairs and see if you have something to wear or we'll go shopping."

Santana rolls her eyes as she slowly makes her way back up to her room. This summer was starting out just fucking fantastic already. Brittany was gone and now she was being forced to go to some stupid dinner with a stupid boy. Unfortunately, she was going to have to grin and bear it because the other alternative was telling her parents the truth and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. Let the summer of lies begin…


End file.
